Managing My Time, part 1 of 2

All of us have the same 24 hours in a day to work with, and I desire to use time efficiency to best utilize all of those minutes the Lord has given me each day to the best of my ability.  When I think of my day I have to think of it as having boundaries, solid boundaries.  Each day, I have to fit in all the different activities that come my way either by my own doing or due to circumstances.  Many days, however, we plan too much and there is no room for something not planned for without sacrificing the important. This could be a child that needs extra behavior training one day, someone getting sick, a fender bender at the store, or an opportunity to join friends at the park on an unexpectedly sunny, warm day.  How am I possibly going to fit a trip to the park into our schedule – without letting go of important responsibilities – when I’m already maxed out?  Well, sometimes the problem is being maxed out by clutter, disorganization and a general lack of clarity about what we are choosing to do.  We actually do have the time we need to take care of the extra things that come up, the problem is that there is no way of getting the time together into large enough blocks to be useful. The time we lack is in the cracks of disorganization.  (While this post is about how I manage my own time directly, if you want more information about how I manage our home and family, please see "You Cant Have Your Cake and Eat It Too" parts one and two.)

Look at the picture below and see how a day that lacks organization and planning can be.  You just don’t have time for anything.  Your activities are actually spilling out of the day’s boundaries into the next day and you’re having to make compromises in the important areas in order to handle the urgent things that come up.  This equals stress.
 

While it is possible to simply have more things in your life than one day can fit, most of the time it is a matter of organization and prioritization.  
For me, the answer is in re-capturing all the time that is lost in the cracks of disorganization and clutter.  When things are organized they fit together within the confines of a plan.  The right amount of time at the right time can be laid out in advance so that I know what I will be doing at about any given time of the day based on our family schedule.  I know that this may sound like prison or bondage but the truth is that freedom lies within taking charge of your day and activities. When you plan in advance you don’t put things in that don’t fit, and you don’t plan disproportionate amounts of time to things that don’t need it.  You have time for all of the important things (and by this I’m including relaxation and play) – and have a little left over.  This left over time is called “margin” and it is for the little bumps that come along and try to crash my day.  And believe me, they come. 

Here’s an example of a morning at our house filled with “bumps”.  The girls over slept their alarm clock in the morning, so now the oatmeal that Karen (12) loves to fix for us is not started, young kids don’t have their water bottles filled or vitamins out and they’re asking repeatedly for a drink, people are needing to shower at the same time and arguing about who should be able to go first, and young kids are not productively and happily occupied with breakfast but instead are getting out tons of toys which will need a big clean up now before we start homeschooling for the day.  Tyler (2) has pooey pants and has wriggled his hands down into his diaper and now has those contents on his hands while he is touching toys – major clean up now for not only him but the 17 toys he’s touched, etc…  Maybe you can relate.  *smile*  Not my favorite beginning of a day.  When everyone is up on time in the morning, kids are dressed and ready for the day and sitting at the table with everything they need (water, vitamins, food), no toys are out, no one is bored and sticking their hands in their diaper, and we clean up breakfast in a timely manner and move smoothly into school.  *Aahhh*  Much better.  But when bumpy mornings happen, with some margin in our schedule we can re-group and get back into our plan without the stress of missing a large portion of our school time and other important things.  Look at the next picture and you can get a vision for how eliminating the wasted time all around the day can equal more than enough time to do what we want and need to with some left over for the extras.

Just like our refrigerator door is Organization Central for the family (Click HERE for more on home organization.), my kitchen counter is Organization Central for me personally.  *smile*  It’s not ideal to have my desk be on the kitchen counter near the sink, but in our current small house this is what I have so I make it work, and it serves it’s purpose.  I personally only have so much working-memory space in my head available for managing our large family so everything has to be written down or printed out to be remembered – my counter “desk” is the place to keep it all organized. 

Flat on the counter I keep an 8x10 spiral notebook for my “To-Do” list.  It is organized into three categories:  people & places to CALL, things to DO, and places I need to GO.  This way if I have a few minutes available I don’t have to read through the whole list to find something I could take care of in the next 5 minutes, I can just skim the section of phone calls I need to make, for example, and quickly select one; instead of spending those 5 minutes just reading the list trying to decide how to best use those 5 minutes! Ha ha.  (I even had this organized notebook idea published in Marriage Partnership Magazine once, kinda fun. *smile*)  I cross items off my list as they’re completed.  When the notebook page is full in any of the 3 categories and there’s no more room to write down additional things, then I re-write the page with only the items that are not yet crossed off.  Occasionally something stays on my list for months and never gets done as I’m prioritizing my time, and that’s okay.  Sometimes it just keeps getting re-written on new lists until it’s done, and sometimes I decide that I’m just not going to do that thing after all and it drops off.

Beside the note book I stick post-it notes of things that must be taken care of today, or notes of things I need to recall quickly.  (Side note: I do get flack from sweet friends who tease me about being the post-it note queen – just because I always keep 5 different sizes of post-it notes on hand in our desk drawer.  *chuckle*  They’ve even given me post-it notes as a gift!  I love-love post-its – lists and notes that can’t escape me because they’re stuck down!  Yay!  Brilliant design!  They’re all over the house.  Anyway…)  Examples of what I use post-its for on my counter might be a reminder note that one of the children is to miss a privilege for however many days for a poor choice they made, or a note that I need to call my mom to discuss the family birthday party coming up this weekend.  Easily pealed off and thrown away when it’s completed.

I have a vertical file box for all of the paperwork I need on hand (file drawers are in the garage for all other paper work).  Now I’m not a pile person, but for some reason if I turn what would be a pile and stand it up vertically it doesn’t look like, feel like, or function like a pile any more.  *chuckle*  Go figure.  So this box holds things like recipes I plan to try or ones I’ve taken from my recipe binders (Organizing Recipes) because I’m planning to prepare them that week and I’ve already shopped for the ingredients; stickers for homeschooling rewards; a pen (that big pink daisy is my happy pen – just makes me smile), pencil, and a highlighter for quick and easy access; extra copies of the consumable charts that the children use (See Charts and Lists for more on this); a reminder list telling me when to introduce certain foods to our babies at what ages; papers of online resources for buying modest clothing (Modest Dress for more on this), or for help with the girls’ crocheting; a “Children’s Catechism” (which we started teaching but haven't taught the children completely yet but still hope to); a website print out of some music I’d like to buy some time; my Cuisinart food processor manual for quick reference; a list of things I need done around the house so when someone desires to earn some extra money, or someone “earns” an extra job *wink-wink* then I have those ideas on hand; “Medical Release Forms” for when I need to leave any of the children with someone other than my husband (watch for future post on this), brochures from about 6 local malls so I can reference what stores are available there, what the phone number is for that store, and what times they’re open; and the like.  It even has picture frames for photos of our children.  I love it.  (from Target)

There is a little mini vertical file stand for things that are in process right now; especially smaller items that would get lost in the bigger file box.  For example, receipts I need to hold on to, the library print-out list of books we have currently checked out, print outs of anything I’ve ordered online so I can make sure to watch for it’s arrival, a gift card to be used, etc.

 Between the larger file box and the wall, I stand up reading material I’m working on.  A couple books I’m reading or plan to read soon, the chapter book I’m reading aloud to the kids at night, the current Taste of Home’s “Simple & Delicious” magazine to look through for new recipes. This is a source for excellent recipes, quick and simple yet very tasty, and with photographs of every recipe!)

 Beside my counter is a wall calendar that serves as my day planner, month-at-a-glance.  I used to use my day planner for this, but it was too much trouble to be pulling it out and flipping to the correct month all the time, so I changed to a darling wall calendar which I just love.  All appointments, birthday or holiday reminders, guests coming over, when the library books are due, kids can check the date for their school work, and younger kids can learn all about calendars by using mine – everything for the family goes here.  It’s kept in one place so I cannot accidentally double-book anything because plans were kept in more than one location.  I write most everything in pencil, because when plans change I like to erase them completely; for my calendar I don’t like to see a mess of pen ink where things have been changed, I like to see simplicity – it makes me feel calmer, not overwhelmed or confused.  I write birthdays very small in red ink, and I write when books are due at the library in blue so that those two things stand out (and neither 0f these things will change), but everything else is in pencil.  I circle appointment times so that I can see those at a glance easily and they stand out as well.  When I write something down that will happen in the morning on a certain day, I write it at the top of that day’s box on the calendar; if something will happen in the afternoon, in the middle of the box, and in the evening, at the bottom of the box.  If the calendar is uncomfortably full of activities or stressful over a week or a few weeks then I’ll sometimes put a penciled ‘X’ over a weekend or two after that to remind myself not to plan things on those days.  I need to be sure our family has the rest we need, and make sure the kids have enough of Daddy & Mommy that they need.  My husband has been good over the years to periodically remind me that I’m not a victim of our schedule – it’s totally in my control, I can make it whatever I would like.  *smile* 

 I do still have my day planner, it just no longer holds our family calendar.  In it I keep two sets of address & phone tabs:  one set for friends, and one set for businesses.  This way I can keep track of businesses phone numbers and the times that they’re open so I don’t have to spend time looking them up more than once, and I don’t waste time making trips to stores that are closed.  (Hate that.)  In a pocket of the planner I keep directions to places I go (where I haven’t driven myself at least 10 times so that now I remember how to get there exactly – ha ha).  I have business card pockets for Doctor’s business cards.  And at the back are four tabs for additional information. 

- A “Loaned Out” tab for listed items like books or messages on CD that I’ve loaned out or borrowed, so I don’t have to rack my brain trying to remember where that book went that I loaned out months ago when another friend would like to borrow it.

- A “Gift Ideas” tab for keeping track of gift ideas for each person in our immediate family.  As ideas present themselves I always write them down so I don’t have to try to recall those great ideas later.  We always strive to buy each other and the kids something they really need or would like to have, not just any ‘ol thing.

- A “Businesses” tab for keeping track of extra details from certain businesses, such as The Picture People:  the name of the gal who did a great job of taking our large-family photo (watch for a post on how we do family photos); or information on Jungle Play Land:  the address & phone number, times they’re open, prices for several different age groups, and information on the membership we purchased.

- A “Misc.” tab for more random information such as a list of books I’d like to read; a list of educational videos we’ve enjoyed from the library; the authors names of our favorite children's books at the library; the phone number for our local Animal Control (we’ve had dangerous dogs in our neighborhood); or a list of ideas on how to throw a wonderful ladies tea, which I wrote down when we attended a church who did this often.

I also intentionally manage my time with the weekly errands and grocery shopping.  Our family uses a “Master Grocery List” on the refrigerator for keeping track of what needs to be purchased at the store that week.  This is a list of all of our staple one-stop-shopping needs:  food, diapers, household items, etc.  I write in italics beside some items how many of that item we need and what brand we buy, so that if Bob does the shopping for some reason that week then he’ll have all the information he needs.  When we run out of an item someone simply highlights it on the list.  This way I don’t need to waste time creating lists each week that contain mostly the same regular items, and by skimming the list before shopping I can make sure nothing was missed which would then require an additional trip to the store – total waste of time.  I also write down the ingredients for the dinner recipes I’m planning on making that week.  Items on the list are also put in the order of how we find them in the store so there is little if any back-tracking (i.e. front of the store to the back of the store).  (See our post "Charts and Lists that Save My Sanity" for more information on this)  This also helps me quickly locate an item on the list when I need to highlight it, because I know which items are near each other (i.e. at Costco, the string cheese is right after the baked breads, so when I skim the list on the refrigerator and see the bread items listed I know the string cheese will be listed immediately after that). Click on the list below to enlarge it if you'd like.

With the children and all of their individual responsibilities we have several charts and lists on the refrigerator to help me manage my time with them as well.  Once kids have been carefully instructed and taught to do a certain job, and I’m confident they know what to do, I do not waste a ton of time repeating myself every day re-explaining the details of the job they have before them – they reference a list or check list for this.  (See our post "Charts and Lists that Save My Sanity" for more information on this) For example, when they have the responsibility of cleaning up the kitchen after dinner what does that mean exactly?  I can tell you it means different things to me than it does to them.  *chuckle*  So I write out the details for them to check off, and they learn to pursue excellence in their work.

When we have a continual problem of a child “forgetting” the reasoning behind certain family rules, and I’ve explained it to them over and over and over again yet they’re still not “remembering” why that thing is important, then I make a list and they get to copy it down to help them retain the information.  This helps them recall why we do what we do. *smile*  Here’s an example of a list they get to copy down (the number of times is determined by their age and ability) when they’re continually tossing clean clothes into the laundry hamper:

 Also on top of my counter I’ll keep any small projects I need to work on, such as mending, thank you notes to be written, or small toys that need to be glued.  I don’t like piles of things, but if they’re not on my counter then they’re not “on my plate” so to speak and they don’t get done.  Sometimes I’ll intentionally make a pile of clothing items that need mending, for example, right in the middle of my counter because then I’m inclined to get it off of there and I complete what I’ve been putting off! 

I completely rely on my “desk” to keep us all functioning smoothly.  Unfortunately the older kids see it as a place to get lots of information, too, so I’m often chasing them away and forbidding them from asking a hundred questions about what they read!  *smile*  And I reserve the privilege of changing any of the information on the calendar at any time, and do not desire to re-explain the changes to the masses.  I just tell them that they’re on a need-to-know basis and right now they don’t need to know; I’ll tell them when the time is right.  

If you have some great ideas of your own for managing your large family – I would love to hear about them!  If you’re reading all this and trying to imagine where to begin towards creating a more organized life style, I encourage you to pick just one strategy to implement at a time.  Don’t take on so much change that it takes all of your energy just to try to remember how you wanted to use each tool, because that will likely bring feelings of "I can't do this", discouragement, or confusion.  When the one strategy you choose is comfortable, then choose another one if you need to.  Give yourself grace.  *smile*  And I’d love to answer any questions you may have about how I organize my time.

Blessings,